My experience with interpersonal conflict was recent and involved a fair amount of tension. What started off as a peaceful evening training session, erupted into a verbal arms race in which the most vulgar would seemingly prevail.
The spectacle took place during the recent term break at the campus swimming pool. The varsity Aquathlon team had gathered at the Sports and Recreation Centre for our weekly evening swim training. As a team, we’d usually politely instruct individuals to vacate the lanes we have booked. However, on that particular day, I was met with the most unreasonable person to my memory.
I explained to him that his lane was booked for the Aquathlon team’s training and politely asked that he shift over to the adjacent lane (which was open to the public). His reply was curt, "Tough sh*t, I’m not done yet." Upon which, he continued to hog the lane.
Not one to shy away from confrontation, I again tried to reason with him, albeit with much less effort to remain cordial. What ensued was a heated debate over lane bookings and time constraints.
As it wore on, the argument got laced with curses and swears. So here we were, two grown men, shouting at each other as profanely as we could, on the verge of a fist fight until the life guards tore us apart. We now had the attention of the whole swimming pool and were asked to step aside to resolve this more calmly. Eventually, with the backing of the sports office, I won my case against him but was given a strict warning on conduct.
Words are loaded pistols; you fire them off at your own risk. How would you have reacted and dealt with such an individual under the same circumstances?
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Hi Aldrich, I never thought you were one to be involved in such disputes. I thought you were the very gentle and peace-loving kind. Haha I guess this shows everyone has a temper to a greater or lesser extent.
ReplyDeleteThat individual is certainly very rude and crude in his use of words. Given my character in the past, I would probably would have started a war of words with him too and thereby escalting the situation. That individual is extremly selfish and definitely not a follower of regulations. I feel the best and most cordial way to deal with such a moron will be to request for assistance, probably with campus security or the lifeguard on duty. If we think about it seriously, it is not worth our time quarelling and fighting with such a person. We will only be degrading ourselves to his level by doing so. In life, there are many individuals just spoiling for a fight all the time. If a fight eventually took place, we could risk expulsion from the university or it could even lead to a police case. Thus, we must always try our best to keep our emotions in check to prevent it from controlling us. Emotions can lead us to do silly things that are often regretable.
However, if assistance was not available, maybe you could have considerd using other unoccupied lanes first. I understand that in such situations, it is really hard to swallow your pride and ego. This is especially so when you know you are doing the right things. But I guess doing so is better than a fierce confrontation? Do you agree with me Aldrich?
Regards,
Ken Jie
Hello Aldrich, wow I could not tell that you were involved in a verbal fight with a stranger in public before. Honestly, I know it can be hard to control your emotions and hold back your fists when being confronted with such people... I've been faced with such situations before too. But I am someone who shys away from conflicts simply because I am cowardly and for fear of creating trouble for myself. The case is different for guys I guess, could it be due to ego? Haha, no offense!
ReplyDeleteWell if I were you, I will probably ask him nicely when will he be done first. If he still refuses to cooperate, I'll approach the sports office personnels for help on this issue. But oh well, thats what I am saying now but maybe if I were to be at the scene, I'll probably end up like you!
Thanks, Aldrich, for sharing this honest reflection on the heated scenario. It is well described. As the other readers have mentioned, I'm a bit surprised by your resorting to the weapon of words here. This is not because I consider myself above doing such a thing but because you present yourself as very cool and collected in class.
ReplyDeleteI guess the situation didn't have to reach such a dangerous height. Self regulating is the key, taking ten deep breaths and walking away.
The best course of action would have been for you to go first to the sports office. Maybe that wasn't convenient. But "legally" you were in the right from the start. The mistake you made (and we all have made such mistakes) was to engage to other fellow.